Feeling My Age

Do you ever feel like you're falling apart?  Not necessarily spiritually, although that can become a factor, but physically?  Maybe like your power cord has been unplugged from it's power source?

Last year when I went for my annual check-up with the doctor I found out that I had a lot of issues. My blood pressure was a little high, my cholesterol was a little high, I was anemic, my vitamin D had bottomed out and my thyroid, for which I have taken medication for hypothyroidism for 13 years, was all out of whack!

I took iron, vitamin D, saw a specialist for the thyroid, had my medication changed twice, and promised I was working on this weight issue to get my blood pressure and cholesterol in check.

Fast forward a year:  I'm back at the doctor for another annual check-up.  Again, I have a laundry list of issues.  Most of them, the same issues.  I have lost a little weight, but not near enough to make a difference.

I have been blaming myself for being so tired all the time.  I thought maybe I was just lazy.  But when you find out you're anemic, your vitamin D is once again bottomed out and your thyroid is once again completely out of whack; you realize it's not all your fault.  There's a real reason for the lethargy.  It's not all in your head.  Thank God!

The one thing I can't understand is how a person with all these issues that drain energy can still be an insomniac.  That's a mystery I will never comprehend.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the doctor's appointments I have coming my way.  I had an appointment today, two next week and one in February for my first mammogram - yikes!  I will have another one, to be determined, in the middle of all of this for a simple, in office procedure that I'm not looking forward to, but it's really not supposed to be a big deal.  Regardless of how trivial it all sounds, I'm dreading it all so bad and will just be so glad when it's all over.

Now, having said all that, I realize that at my age, it will never just be over.  It's just the beginning and it sucks!  Pardon my bluntness!

On an up-note, I have lost 7 1/2 pounds in the past two weeks and I am determined to lose this weight and get myself healthy.  I haven't been able to exercise, because I have had the worst head/chest cold I have had in a very long time for going on three weeks.  But as soon as I'm over this mess I will be getting my butt in gear.

I don't know why I feel compelled to share this with you all.  Maybe someone else out there is going through something similar and maybe my sharing will help you to not feel so alone.  Maybe I just needed to vent and get it off my chest.

One thing I do know for sure is that God will be with me through it all.  He has never and will never leave my side.  Even at my most overwhelming moments, I know He's there.

God is Listening

My son and his friend had a car accident Wednesday night coming home from church.  It happened around 9:30 p.m.  My son was driving down the outer road by the interstate when he suddenly saw something in the road.  When he swerved to miss it he clipped the object with the right front of his car and lost control.

They spun a couple of times and somehow managed to go under a cable that divides the outer road from the interstate; it scraped the whole length of his car.  They went through the grass and into the right lane of the interstate, thankfully nothing was coming, before he was able to get control and pull the car over to the shoulder.  Thank God, my son nor his friend were injured.

That something he saw in the middle of the road turned out to be a dishwasher that had apparently fell off of someone's truck.

I pray everyday that God will protect my child and direct his steps.  That morning I remember specifically praying that God would protect him as he was driving.  God proved to me that he hears my prayers.

Here's the thing, just the day before I got some unpleasant news about a very dear family member.  We've been praying for a miracle for so long and things just aren't going the way we wish they would.  All around me it seems like people are sick, dying or just generally having a hard way to go.  I remember hanging up the phone and just crying.  I felt so helpless and I was telling my husband I didn't feel like my prayers were doing any good.  I was feeling like all those prayers were just bouncing off the ceiling.

The very next day God proved to me that He definitely hears me.  He protected my child.  This accident could have ended so badly.

My son's friend told me he remembers the car starting to tilt like it was going to flip and then just suddenly set right back down.  My son told me he was trying so hard to get control and when he saw they were headed for the interstate, he just all of the sudden had control.  I told them that God had his hand on them and they both agreed with me.  That's the only explanation I need.

When my son called me to tell me they had had an accident my mind stop accepting information after he said, "we had and accident."  He was trying to tell me where they were and all I heard was that they were on the outer road.  I quickly gave the phone to his father so that I could get dressed.  Once we got to where we thought they were and I realized they were actually on the shoulder of the interstate I almost threw up.  Images of what could have happened started flooding my mind and I was just overwhelmed with gratitude to God for keeping His hand over my child and his friend.

I don't know why this had to happen.  I don't understand why it had to be my son that would come upon a dishwasher in the middle of the road on a dark night.  I don't know why bad things happen to good people.  I've decided, for now, to stop asking why.

All I am going to do right now is continue to trust God and thank Him for his mercy and His grace and trust in His wisdom.  God may not always answer our prayers the way we want Him to but He has a plan and we just have to trust in that.