Deciding to Forgive

"Don't hate, it's too big a burden to bear." Martin Luther King, Sr.

Hate seems like such a harsh word, but http://www.merriam-webster.com defines it as follows:

a : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury 

b : extreme dislike or antipathy : loathing

How many of us can say that we have never felt hostility or extreme dislike for someone?  Be honest!  I'm not going to lie; I have felt both of those emotions at one time or another and it's one of the worst feelings I've ever known.

Matthew 5:43 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy.  44 But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!  45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your father in heaven.  For He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good and He sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.  46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that?

I struggle with forgiveness on a daily basis.  I would dare say, that forgiveness is a struggle for everyone at some point.  If, however, you are one of those fortunate individuals who do not fight this battle, I envy you.

The worst part of holding on to past hurts and not forgiving is the fact that it only hurts me.  Most of the time the person you harbor ill will toward does not know or care how you feel.  And these feelings of bitterness, resentment, hate, etc..., will eat you alive.

Have you ever been lying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep and suddenly you think of something that someone did or said to you that hurt your feelings or really set you off?  I know I have and it's a very unsettling experience.  I start to replay the event in my mind. I think of all the different ways that I could have handled it.  What I said, what I should have said, what I shouldn't have said.  Before I know it, my heart is racing and I am angry all over again.  It's the most frustrating feeling.

What's worse is, when I feel that I have let something go or that I have forgiven a wrong and then it somehow comes up again and I find that I am still not over it.  When I have these realizations, I feel guilty and ashamed of myself.  The Bible says that I have to forgive to be forgiven.  Why does this forgiveness thing have to be so hard?

So, how to overcome?  Pray, pray, pray and pray some more.  Every time one of these offenses pops up in my mind, I pray.  I pray for that person, I pray blessings on their life, I pray for myself and ask God to forgive me for my feelings.  I know it works.

I'm not going to lie and say that I have perfected this, because I haven't and I still have things that pop up and I have to really pray.  I believe, one day, I will have victory over all the "issues" in my life.  Learning to forgive myself is the hardest challenge.  The devil likes to remind me of my past mistakes. I have to remind myself often that God forgave me, the devil is a liar and God wants me to live my life abundantly.

Philippians 2:2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.  3 Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  4 Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.  5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

I think if we can keep the above scripture in mind, we would be happier individuals.  I know that when I take the focus off of myself and put it somewhere else, I tend to be in a better mood and I feel a sense of accomplishment.

My encouragement to you is, take one day at a time, pray, pray, pray and pray some more, and never forget the God that saved you will rescue you in your time of need.  Some days I feel like I am going to drown, but that life preserver always seems to reach me just in time.  Don't give up!